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Since January 2004




- ::: mE ::: -
| Irwandy aka ND |
| 27 |
| Kuala Lumpur |
| Working in Shah Alam |
| Photography, Blogging, Guitars |
| Music, Theatre, Movies, Cars |

| YM! : silverbullet_gt |


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ND's Latest News :-

- photography freak
- working in UMW, Shah Alam
- busy with working life lately


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Plain White Tee's - Hey There Delilah



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Siri Sampai Menutup Mata

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Siri Mencari Sinar

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Entri Yang Terhangat Di Pasaran

Aku Bukan Memilih
Pakaian Ketat : 18SX
Menjalinkan Hubungan
Why Call?
Ada Apa Dengan Perempuan?
Duit Hantaran
Melayu Kita
Mamak!!!
For The Love or Money
Mencarut?
Hantu
Kisah Di Traffic Light


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:: Archieves ::

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Friday, August 27, 2004
Dear Lai Ma...

Friday, 27th August 2004

The recent hoo-ha over a couple having sex inside a Kancil has spilled over to the 5Star. Many readers have written in to asked for our expert advice.

Our 5Star columnist, Ms Lai Ma(formerly a karaoke lounge singer), is more of a 'Mercedes type' rather than a 'Kancil type'. Nevertheless, she will try to answer your questions as best as she can.  And we wish to remind you that the5Star is 5 times better than that lousy dipshit one-Star competitor.


Dear Lai Ma
Every time I and my girlfriend make out in a Kancil, the car will start rocking up and down. This motion attracts the attention of passing cops who then come and park their motorcycle in front of the car. Is there a way to prevent the Kancil from rocking up and down? I have already changed the absorbers, tyres and even the cushion covers, but nothing works. I hope you don't mind my asking you this very technical question.
Nuclear Scientist

Dear Nuclear Scientist
This is a very technical problem and needs very specialized knowledge to solve. I know that my  departmental office boy makes out with his girlfriend in a Kancil in the car park at night. He uses a car jack to first jack up the side of the car a bit. When the weight of the car rests on four wheels and one jack, it will not rock very much. Don't be afraid to ask us technical questions. We, at the 5Star, are all very technical people.

Dear Lai Ma
I have made out with guys in both Mercedes and Kancils. I find that I am able to achieve better  orgasms inside a Kancil. Does that mean that Kancil drivers are better lovers than Mercedes drivers?
Beh Pai Seh

Dear Beh Pai Seh
Kancil drivers are not better lovers. The reason why you have been getting better orgasms in a Kancil is because the car is very cramped inside, which gave you a much tighter feeling. The tighter the better mah......

Dear Lai Ma
My boyfriend just bought a new Kancil and I find that there is not enough space in the back seat for  proper lovemaking. My legs would stick out of the left window and his legs stick out of the right  window. Do you think we should modify the car?
Miss Contort

Dear Miss Contort
Your legs.....left window....his legs......right window. Oh...I understand now! Please do not, I repeat, do not attempt the "sixty-nine" position inside any car. Get a hotel room instead.

Dear Lai Ma
We read so much about people having sex in a Kancil. My girlfriend and I decided to try it. So  yesterday she went down on me in the front seat. But I find that the Kancil is really cramped, and her head keeps blocking me from reaching the gear shift. Is this normal?
First Timer

Dear First Timer
You want to reach the gear shift, for what? Oh....my....gawd......!!! You are awesome !!!But I think that in future, before you and your girlfriend try oral sex, you should stop the car first.

Dear Lai Ma
I hear everybody talking about having sex with kancil nowadays, like it is the hottest thing to do. I  orso want. So I go to the jungle to see if I can catch a female kancil. But I catch nothing. Because  I think everybody caught all the kancil already. Never leave some for me. Why like dat? Why the world so fu(ked up?
Chin Tu Lan

Dear Tu Lan
You are a pervert. Also retarded. Very. People have sex in Kancil, not with kancil. You understand  the difference or not, idiot? Ni Na Beh. I don't want to answer this type of sick questions any more. And how many times must I tell you not to write to me? But my talkcock editor said that we are a 5 star paper and we should not discriminate against perverts. He said that dirty perverts need love too. What a moron. But okay, if you want to make love to Kancil, go right ahead. Just stick your dick into the exhaust pipe, and have fun. And tell me which Kancil you are using. Because I want to come and start the engine.

Posted at 11:33 pm by irwandy
(1) Comments  

Thursday, August 26, 2004
New Banner

Thursday, 26th August 2004

First of all..today, I would like to wish HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY to my bestfriend, Herma Malinie...yg sedang berada di Melaka...menjadi baby sitter sebelum mula bekerja as an accountant kat sana next month...hahaha...Happy Birthday my dear friend...semoga Allah panjangkan umur...

As for me today, patutnya gi meeting...tapi kepala aku berpinau...tak larat nak bangun pagi tadi...hishhh...ape kena tah dgn kepala aku nih...mak aku plak hari ni dpt order yg byk gile drpd caterer...so, aku kena tolong la...kena buat 300 chicken pie...300 fruit tartlets...300 egg tarts...300 choc muffin...and 50 cream puffs....wahlau weihhhh...esok caterer tu nak amik...ini yg dinamakan rezeki...Alhamdulillah...

Banner baru pun dah dibuat...layout baru later la kot...hehe...tu je la takat ni...tunggu aku habiskan lagi 4 assignment...hmmm...aarrghhh..tatau ape nak tulis dah..aku pening..cau!

Posted at 11:33 pm by irwandy
(4) Comments  

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Peningggggggggggggggggggggg

Wednesday, 25th August 2004

Bangun lambat gile hari ni...ye la...project dah siap..dah hantar semalam..lega rasanya...tu yg tido tak ingat dunia..heheh...bangun je...lauk lunch dah ade...ape lagik...soruu duluuu..pastu bersiap nak kuar...jumpa member jap...dia ade prob nak citer...lepak2 sambil makan...kul 5pm aku balik...sampai rumah je...kepala aku dah cam tak betul...pening sangat...sebelah je plak tu...hmmm

Actually doktor dah kasi warning kat aku about something...tapi aku buat tak endah je..hahhaahh...ni la akibatnya kot...ishk..menda tu dtg balik ke?..haiyyaaa...dah 2 menda sebati...lagi satu nak dtg balik...hishhh...larat ke badan aku ni nak suffer semua tu nanti?...hmmm...ntah le...dlm masa-masa yg genting ni...macam2 yg dtg...I wonder, dugaan camni pun aku suffer teruk gile...macam mana la dugaan yg lebih besar yg akan datang nanti kan?...hmm..sama-sama kita renungkan...

This weekend tak main futsal...kuku ibu jari kaki kiri aku dah nak tercabut...patut le masa main futsal last week..rasa sakit je ibu jari aku tuh...rupanya berdarah keluar...huhuhu...next week baru la bleh main kot...tgh tunggu kuku kaki ni tercabut dulu...

Patutnya this week aku kena gi jumpa physioterapist.. nak check pergelangan kaki kiri aku...bawah buku lali aku tu sakit bila berjalan...takkan ade menda yg koyak kot...usually, aku biarkan je...sbb lama2 nanti jadi ok balik...yg ni dah lama sgt....risau gak aku...aku takut kang bile jumpa, dia suh gi operate je...hahaha..aku ni dah la tak penah masuk hospital...sbb tak penah ade menda yg membuatkan aku perlu masuk hospital...Alhamdulillah...


I cannot promise you that
I will not change
I cannot promise you that
I will not have many different moods
I cannot promise you that
I will not hurt your feelings sometimes
I cannot promise you that
I will not be erratic
I cannot promise you that
I will always be strong
I cannot promise you that
my faults will not show

But
I do promise you that
I will always be supportive of you
I do promise you that
I will share all my thoughts
and feelings with you
I do promise you that
I will give you freedom to be yourself
I do promise you that
I will understand everything that you do
I do promise you that
I will be completely honest with you
I do promise you that
I will laugh and cry with you
I do promise you that
I will help you achieve all your goals

But
most of all
I do promise you that
I will love you

Posted at 11:33 pm by irwandy
(2) Comments  

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Thanks

Tuesday, 24th August 2004

I would like to thank to my friends and those blog viewers that gave comments about my entries. I really appreciate your comments. You know who you are. Just click on the comments and see the names...;)...and here is something for u guys...and pls comment about it also!..haha
 

She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her
She's got a way of pleasing
I don't know why it is
But there doesn't have to be a reason anyway

She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know what it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way of talking
I don't know why it is
But it lifts me up when we are walking anywhere

She comes to me when I'm feeling down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She's got a way of showing
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on going
She's got a light around her
And everywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her everywhere...

Posted at 11:33 pm by irwandy
(4) Comments  

Monday, August 23, 2004
Semakin hari semakin bingung

Monday, 23rd August 2004

Lately ni, aku rasa aku ni makin bingung. Makin taktau hala tuju aku. Macam orang yg takde pendirian tetap. Semakin blur dengan keadaan yg menimpa. Semua menda yg aku nak buat macam takde kesungguhan lagi. Aku memang rasakan yg aku telah kehilangan sesuatu yg amat besar dalam sejarah hidup aku. Diri aku sendiri yg dulu telah hilang...all the good things about me dah lenyap begitu sahaja. Mungkin telah dibawa pergi oleh dia? Mungkin juga, sebab semua ini terjadi selepas aku berjumpa dgn dia.

Dulu, aku selalu yakin terhadap apa yg aku buat dan mostly berjaya. Jika nak buat sesuatu tu, aku akan cuba sampai dapat. Dulu, aku selalu sangat tolong orang sbb memang aku suka tolong pun. Skang ni, aku macam tak berdaya nak menolong orang lagi. Dulu, pemikiran aku tajam...itu yg ayah aku ckp la...jenis cepat tangkap...skang ni, makin lembab. Tah ape jadi tah aku pun taktau. Dulu, aku suka keluar...merayap...lepak dgn member2...skang ni aku dok rumah je sepanjang masa...menanti hari-hari berlalu pergi...seolah-olah aku tgh tunggu bulan jatuh ke riba...sometimes aku termenung memikirkan masa depan...terkenang kembali kenangan2 lepas...dan macam2 lagi...

Kadang-kadang aku terfikir, kenapa la aku tak pegi je UK tahun lepas?...Kenapa la aku tak stay kat Melbourne tahun 2002 dulu? Kenapa la aku quit MMU?...Kenapa la aku masuk kolej APIIT?...Setiap hari aku fikirkan tentang tu semua...kenapa aku ditakdirkan sebegitu rupa...rupanya semua perkara itu menghala kepada 2 tujuan...firstly, family aku...kalau aku pegi jugak UK tahun lepas, mungkin aku akan menyusahkan family aku...ataupun aku akan quit setengah jalan...secondly, si dia...kalau aku gi UK tahun lepas...kalau aku stay kat Melbourne...kalau aku tak quit MMU, tak mungkin aku akan jumpa si dia...tak mungkin dia berada di mana dia berdiri sekarang...mungkin dia still struggle nak hidup tanpa sesiapa di sisi...

Ntah la...aku rasa terlalu banyak aku korbankan masa aku utk kesenangan org lain...ape yg aku fikir aku pun taktau...tapi aku tetap bersyukur dengan segala apa yg berlaku ini...walaupun ada perkara yg amat buruk, tetapi ade juga baiknya...walaupun lembu punya susu, sapi dapat nama...aku pasrah dan redha dgn apa yg jadi...biarlah kacang lupakan kulit...biarlah habis madu sepah dibuang...hopefully semua ni lead to something yang boleh membuatkan aku berjaya dalam hidup dan mendapat kesenangan & kebahagiaan di dunia dan di Akhirat. Amin...

Posted at 11:33 pm by irwandy
(7) Comments  

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