Semua orang cakap, it's up to ourselves to choose to be happy or not. But I have one question, can we really choose it? It's like, hari ni aku nak happy...so, happy je la..padahal mood tak ok...esok plak, nak pilih tak happy plak, so..moody je memanjang padahal dlm hati happy plak...pretending kan?...
For me, to be happy or unhappy, itu bukan pilihan. Do you really want to pretending that you're happy while u're not? Kalau buat camtu dgn tujuan taknak menyusahkan org lain, it's up to you. But ask yourself, you cannot always do that. You cannot always make other person happy.
To be happy or unhappy depends on the situation itself. Bukannya pilihan. If it's a choice, than it would be easier, right?
As for me right now, I'm happy with my current lifestyle but I'm not happy with what I've been through this year & last year. From the middle of 2003 until the middle of 2004, it has been so awful. I wish I could wipe it all away. Things never been into my pathway target during that time. Being used, been lied, being ignored, kena jadi mangsa fitnah, janji dimungkiri, been hurt, been betrayed, feel lost, been left out in the dark, been kicked when you're down, been on the edge of breaking down, been stabbed and more, u name it.
Lembu punya susu, sapi dapat nama. Kacang lupakan kulit. Habis madu sepah dibuang. Tisu tandas. Bila dah tak berguna & taknak guna, buang camtu je. Orang lain pulak yang dapat privillege. Camtu perumpamaannya. Alhamdulillah...
However, life goes on. Aku just terkilan sbb I put a lot of effort, sacrifices & my precious time but at the end I got nothing. Hasil usaha kita, orang lain yg dapat nama. Bukannya aku nak harapkan balasan, tapi at least dihargai. Tapi orang lain yang dihargainya.
But all that makes me a better man. Maybe a better life, who knows. But still I'm not happy with all things that happened. Felt like wanna take a revenge but I know, it's not worth it. Balasannya akan tiba, hanya masa menentukan.